It’s “Magic”

This week I got to play with an iPad for the first time – let me tell you, it’s a pretty impressive product. I really does look like a big iTouch, but the experience of using it is completely different. In fact, it’s all the computer my wife needs, and I have great hopes for tablets like the iPad to assist those who, while not blind, are severely visually impaired (like my son). Heck, I’d like to have one to use around the house.

There’s something about the iPad’s marketing tactics, however, that’s been nagging at my mind since it was first announced. Yes, the name is…. unfortunate (it might be the rare instance in history where a focus group actually would have improved a product), but I’ve gotten used to the name. What’s been nagging at me about the iPad’s marketing is the proud proclamation that the iPad is “magic.” Geeks like me have jumped all over that word, it seems to be the united opinion that hearing “it’s magic” about the iPad is akin to having someone run their fingers down a chalkboard. I share the sentiment, but because of who I am I started to think, “Why are we reacting to this word so strongly?” I’ve come to the conclusion that we geeks react so strongly to this word because we instinctively understand what this means.

“Magic,” in the Western Context, has come to encapsulate any kind of secret knowledge that’s kept from the uninitiated by a guild or secret society. Those who are not initiated into the guild need this protection because if they used it they’d only end up harming themselves and others. A great example of this view of magic can be found in the Harry Potter series (the ban on under-age wizards) and also in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels (Unseen university exists to keep people from using magic, which can accidentally destroy the world on a routine basis). Geeks understand this, when we drop to the command line and people’s eyes glaze over we get a glimpse of how the uninitiated see our world – “ls -l” might as well be an incantation to a non-geek. We like the fact that we stand between the user and their self-destruction – and it’s one of the reasons why we get so upset when users decide to use the magic, bypass our safe-guards, and then cry out for help when the digital demons come to ruin their day. We refer to this problem PEBKAC. If you don’t know what that means, chances are you’ve been a PEBKAC at some point in your life, you’re not in the guild.

Now, as I said, we’re quite happy being the digital wizards (or, if you want to go religious, “priests”). We stand between the users and chaos and we take pride in that. This is why we hate it when the iPad is referred to as “magic.” First, it offends our sensibilities that the uninitiated would be given the power of our digital realm without having to be taught how to think. All someone who uses an iPad has to know is where to touch and how to type in their password to buy an app – yet, they’ll still get to dance around the tablet like they know what they’re doing. Second, we geeks bristle at the fact that we, who know how to think are are initiated into the grand guild of geeks, are only allowed to use the same limited magic on the iPad that people who are normally PEBKAC get to use. It’s like Apple is saying that there’s another guild that only exists at 1 Infinite Loop, and we aren’t allowed to even consider joining it. So, we get peeved and think, “Who does Steve Jobs think he is, anyway?” What really hacks us off though, is that Steve Jobs isn’t really even considered a geek by the initiated, he’s an artist who employs geeks to merge the worlds of art and digital magic for the PEBKAC peoples of the world. In Steve Job’s world, it’s like we’re unnecessary, his special guild is all the world needs to be protected from digital chaos – and so we get miffed.

The thing is, we know that Steve Jobs still needs us, and he knows it as well. After all, without us where would he get the geeks to create the alloy of his art and our digital magic? So what do we do? We take our guild underground, we “jailbreak” our phones and tablets, and teach others the secrets that are happening under the screen of limited (yet pretty) magic that Steve’s guild offers to the PEBKAC masses. Yes, we know that there are other platforms out there that we don’t need to break into, but the pride of geeks is huge, and so we break into the walls of the iCastle in an act of rebellion. Yet, I think the best of us will eventually find the Artist waiting for us in some hallway of the iCastle with a smile on his face – and before we can attack he’ll say, “Oh good, I’ve been waiting for you. You see, I have this idea….”

It’s like…. magic.

Sigh…

This week I read several articles about a “Christian” militia group coming up with a plot to attack police targets because they were agents of the anti-Christ’s one world government.  You can read a bunch of article about them here. I recommend reading up on this, folks.  Really. You can read the groups description of themselves on their web-site.  I hesitate given them a link – but it’s a valuable lesson in how not to do eschatology.

Honestly, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to.  Christians need to look this square in the eye and say, “Yah, those ideas are born from the serpent.”  Enough already.

What floored me is that when I first read the article the only thing I could think of was an old clip from “The Daily Show” regarding the Left Behind: Eternal Forces game (Can’t embed, sorry.  It also gets risquee at the end so just be warned).  Folks, this is where this craziness leads – and we need to do a better job giving people a more Biblical understanding of eschatology before even more churches start jumping on board.  In the coming year,  some how, I’m dealing with revelation and eschatology in Church.  I’ve never shied away from it, but these folks make me want to hit it straight on.