In college I remember a conversation I had with a good friend (alas, Chuckles, where are you?) shortly before graduation.  For some reason a group of us were talking about our first encounters with people we had become friends with and “Chuck” (her name was Charla, long story) said, “Oh man, I thought you were a jerk.    I mean you just said, ‘Hi’ to people and not much else.  It took me a while to figure out That you weren’t trying to be ‘too cool.'”  It wasn’t one of my happier college retrospectives.

Still, Chuck had a point.  See, I hate being in  a situation where I’m forced to talk with an unfamilar person – I have no idea what to say, nor do I know how to graciously remove myself from those situations.  Often (despite my attempts to be disciplined in showing more openness, too often) people view my uncomfortable posture and short comments as being “aloof.” This is what she saw as me looking like I was “too cool.”  Yet, I really wasn’t aloof – I was panicking deep inside!  Yes, this is a difficult trait for a person to have when they’re called to be a pastor.

For all my struggles with “first impressions,” however, I seem to be able to make connections with people which both give me strength and strenthen others.  I don’t always see that happening, and not infrequently do I have to be reminded that I’m actually naturally disposed to making friends, because there are times when I feel like  I’m just not capable of over-coming my innate tendency to be a the kid shouting from the corner  (thanks Jim and Frank for your reassurances, they mean a lot).  The truth is, I’m genuinely blessed with friends, and I have deep desire to develop friendships, even though I’m naturally terrified of making someone’s acquaintance – the fact that I’m ever able to work through these conflicting traits is nothing short of miraculous.

So, to everyone who’s been able to over-come my terrible first-impression, thanks.

To my friends (especially my wife) who challenge and encourage me to be who I’m supposed to be, thanks.

To everyone who has seen potential and gifts in me that I’m not even aware of, thanks.

I hope that I can be as good a friend to all of you as you have been to me.