Unpacking A Plurality of Views

The next few scenes might be my personal favorite musings ever. The world building of ridiculousness continues. Let’s unpack.

Lawyers

As we discovered last week, the “big bads” of the store are a particularly hostile band of lawyers. Over the last few years they’d actually nearly overrun The Realm, but were pushed back by some innovative thinking. They remain at the gates, however, and are willing to lob injunctions upon anyone in The Realm who dares to make a copyrighted reference.

It’s a been a rough few years.

The Purposes

I spoke about the Narrator being referenced as a man last week, and here it continues with come caveats. The gnomes tend to believe in multiple narrators, which has been confirmed by the wizards in “Boarsblemish” and some “weird angelic creatures” in the mountains.

I figure most people can figure out the Boarsblemish reference easy enough, it’s a riff off of Hogwarts and shouts out to JK Rowling 1. The Angelic creatures are a bit more obscure. It’s actually a nod to A Wrinkle in Time and Madeleine L’Lengle.

Bug thinks the typical gnomish understanding of The Realm’s purpose is ridiculous, which is kind of funny because the gnomes are actually correct and Bug is the one who’s ridiculous. The purpose of The Realm really is to power imagination. It’s all very odd and is meant to drive the human mind all mushy 2.

On the other hand, the gnomes actually do wear tall pointy hats in the penny ore mines, so ridiculousness is going around.

The Narrator

Nobody’s aforementioned map is, indeed, tracking one particular Narrator who opens conversations with “Hey, how ya doing?” There’s actually a story behind this.

A few years ago I was in a friend’s wedding and ended up being introduced to the rest of the wedding party. Now, in Philly, a perfectly acceptable greeting is, “How ya, doing?” 3. So with each introduction that was what I said.

That night the groomsmen went out to eat and the brother of the bride very nervously asked me a “personal” question. The conversation went like this.

“Um, what ethnicity are you?”

“I’m pretty much just a WASP, why?”

“Well,” he shuffled nervously. “What do you mean by ‘how you doing?” 4.

I cocked my head. “Huh?”

“Well, how should I respond? Do you want to know?”

I laughed. “I guess, sure. Really it’s just Philadelphian for ‘hello.’”

“So how should I respond?”

“Usually some form of ‘how ya doing?’ is appropriate. Or even just, ‘hey.’”

He was never comfortable with the entire thing, to be honest, and I’ve always found that hysterical. So I put it in my story. Also, come on, the idea of a great and mighty power figure making his presence known with, “Hey, how ya doing?” is absolutely amazing.

The headache cure

Yup, he cured a headache with a giant mallet. Who hasn’t dreamed of curing their own headache with a giant mallet? I call mine the metaphorical wiffle ball bat of doom 5.


  1. Yes, there is a reason for the obvious derivation in name. 
  2. And even with his beliefs Nobody really cannot believe something like the Internet actually exists. 
  3. And, yes, the tailing “g” is optional. 
  4. He definitely said “you” and not “ya.” 
  5. I possess decidedly non-violent violent tendencies. 
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