Writing is how I process my emotions, it always has been. So, given what the last week has been like, here are some random thoughts as I try to process things.

1. Any time I see the or hear the light rail, I have a sharp intake of breath.
2. My sympathetic nervous system has been hovering near “fight or flight” since Thursday. I’m shocked I can sleep at all. If you’re anxious or amped up and you don’t know why, that could be it.
3. You’re allowed to be an emotional wreck when you’re grieving. People who say otherwise are both wrong and hurtful.
4. I really wish we’d drop the concept of “strength” when it applies to grieving. I find it unhelpful, and inadvertently conveys that folks who take a while to process grief are “weak.” Feeling something deeply is not weakness.
5. I’ve been asked a number of questions about “ordinary things” over the last week. My response has been, “I don’t care.” It’s not exactly true. It’s more, “I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with the mundane right now.”
6. We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it. Its resolution is acceptance, not forgetting.
7. If you ever think that ritual actions aren’t important, watch what communities do in a time of shared grief. Rituals are how we humans mark life.
8. I might be able to write a sermon this week. The brain fog is huge.
9. Sometimes we just need human contact to catch our breath. Hugs really do work wonders.
10. If you’re grieving and become worried you aren’t being “productive enough” my advice is to punch productivity in the face. Hard. Then tell it to sit down and shut up ¹.