There’s a myth, prevalent in Western cultures especially, which says there is a place for everyone which is perfectly suited for them. When people say, “This is what I’m meant to do,” this is often the myth being played out. In romantic arenas, it leads to talk of a “soul mate.”
In any case, I don’t buy it.
The playing out of this myth has all sorts of side-effects. Children who can’t find their niche among the cliques of school feel like losers. Adults who can’t find a job which makes them 100% satisfied jump from place to place to place. Christians who buy this myth jump from church to church to church looking for the “perfect” place to suit their needs. Even when we find a place where we may feel reasonably comfortable, the myth creates stress in relationships because other people tend to upset the illusion of “perfection” we work so diligently to create. If you’ve ever been involved in a church fight, I’m fairly certain the myth of the “perfect place for me” is somewhere near the root cause.
Now, I’m a Christian, and I do believe every one of Jesus’ disciples has a calling to serve in the Kingdom. I’m a pastor and a regional geek, over the years I’ve fit in pretty nicely around here and I’m honored to serve in the ways that I have – but was this the place “perfectly suited” for me, the one I was meant to be placed in since before I was born?
No. Not by a long-shot. Nor do I believe there is such a thing.
It is true that I’ve been given a certain set of gifts, and a calling to use them for Jesus, but how I use those gifts isn’t dictated by the Lord who gave them. I’m simply called to use them faithfully, that is what being in God’s will is. Had I received and accepted another call prior to my current Church, would I have been outside “God’s will?” I don’t think so, because I’d still be using the gifts Jesus gave to me. Had I never met my regional pastor, or been asked to join regional staff, would I somehow be outside “God’s will?” No, for the same reason.
I am, like all Christians, called to journey in pursuit of Christ and his Kingdom – but that journey isn’t pre-formed to fit perfectly with who I am. In reality, it’s I who am formed to fit the journey. I made choices in my pursuit of Christ which led me to this place, and because I did so I’ve been formed in a certain way. The people I’ve met, the lessons they’ve taught me, and the spiritual challenges I’ve faced have formed me so I can navigate this track well. Had I taken other choices my relationships, challenges, and spiritual needs would have been different – and I would have been formed differently because of them. I’d certainly still be me, I’d just have been pursuing Christ along a different course.
So stop trying to find the place, person, or pursuit which is perfectly shaped for you. Follow Jesus, use your gifts, and he’ll shape you to fit the journey you’re on for as long as happen to be on it.
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I…don’t agree with you…well, not completely. (Can we still be friends?)
Becoming a librarian was a career shift for me. It’s a night and day difference for me. I’m much better suited to be a librarian than a teacher, which is why I always say, “I was born to do this!” when asked about my current profession. I love my job, but it’s still work and has its own sense of drudgery. Disney World is not the “Happiest Place on Earth” for those who work there. If you are arguing that nothing is ever absolutely perfect, I agree. But I also think it is wise to recognize when you feel unsettled and when it might be time to look to settle somewhere else. One day at my old churchI was waiting in line with a visitor who was gushing about how wonderful my church was and lamenting what she perceived as the disintegration of her home church. She wondered aloud whether she should stay or go. I said, “If the shoe doesn’t fit…” And that’s the moment I realized that I was wearing a shoe that didn’t fit me. I loved my church, but, honestly, I didn’t know why I was there. I had not been raised in church, and the traditions of the church were not only difficult to adapt to, they were vague and mysterious. I reluctantly set off on a quest to find another church, and I did. After a few years of attending, the lightbulb went on during a Sunday school class in which the pastor thought he was reviewing fundamentals. Ohhhh! So this is how it all fits together!
Is my current church home “perfect”? No! It’s not even “perfect for me”, not even close! But as a broken, messed up person, I’ve thrown my lot in with these other broken, messed up people. I couldn’t possibly expect perfection when I’m in no way perfect myself.
That’s why I think searching for a better fit is not necessarily a bad thing.
Journeys end, and I have no problem with that. I might have a problem with “searching for a better fit” depending on how that search is being handled from the get-go. I’ve seen far too many people engage in the search dishonestly to trust the idea.
The best way I’ve ever seen this handled is by a friend of mine who, over the course of several years, asked the leadership of his church if it was time for him to move on to another journey. Several times they said, “No, it’s not” and he listened to them and remained. Then one time an opening came up that seemed to fit his gifts and calling and he asked the leaders, “Is it time?” They replied, “Yes, yes it’s time.”
Too often we bolt from situations based on our own desires and fears and angst, and take no wisdom from people we’ve let close to our hearts in Jesus’ name. I have now idea how you handled your transitions, but when people either come here to journey with this congregation, or when people begin to want to journey elsewhere, this is the type of relationship I look for before I feel comfortable affirming a journey is ending well.