Unpacking Down the Alley

We’re almost to the introduction of my favorite Penny Gnomes character! This short interlude offers some insight to the absurdity of The Realm, let’s unpack.

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There really aren’t supposed to be any non-gnomes in Great Roll. The last wizard 1 who travelled to the city was, indeed, on trial for counterfeiting. Sometimes dwarves will be permitted entry, but only with much advanced warning. Elves, who have been attempting to replace the Penny Standard for nearly three centuries, are never allowed in. Don’t misunderstand. The gnomes are not inhospitable. Their mountains contains the entire basis for The Realm’s economy, and they take that responsibility very seriously.

Bug isn’t wrong, though. People figure if Will is walking around in Great Roll someone who knows what’s going on let him in. If Will hung out for a few weeks he could get a job, buy a house, and marry some extra-tall gnome girl 2. No one would care.

Bug specifically mentioned Will could open a bakery because he’s eaten some of the best pastries in all The Realm, and doesn’t think the stuff the gnomes make is quite up to par. Unfortunately, Will burns toast and would make a horrible baker.

The gnomes don’t follow?

The gnomes don’t follow down the alleyway because they are freaked out, and not without cause. The last gnomling who peeked into the professor’s home found himself suddenly experiencing life as a soccer ball 3.

Bug’s accusation of being “unimaginative” is not unfounded, many gnomes are limited in the imagination department. They have other things to worry about. Like pennies, and from whence their next cup of coffee will come.

Bug, it should be pointed out, loves the insult “pointy-hatted.” He believes it jabs at the lazy core of gnomish society. The truth is, most miss it as an insult. Gnomes wear pointy hats, so they think he’s simply stating a point of fact 4.


  1. Every human in The Realm is a Wizard, it’s kinda their thing. 
  2. At 5’8”, will is about a foot and a half taller than most gnomes. 
  3. He got better. 
  4. It also takes something approaching a decent imagination to recognize the best insults. 
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