What I Live For…

Over the last week I’ve experienced two things which reinforced the fact that I’m actually called to this ministry – despite my constant feelings of being woefully inadequate.

The first came when one person from our community stepped way out of her comfort-zone, stood up in front of a large crowd, and exercised her wonderful gift for reading out-loud.  She did this even though the thought of being in front of other people scares the living-daylights out of her.  She did it because I asked – I asked because she has an all-to-rare gift that the Church needs.  People who can read with inflection and can communicate understanding are pathetically rare in the Western World – she has that gift, and she exercised it to help people worship.

The second came during a memorial service for the mother of one of our members.  In preparing for the service I asked her, “Would you like to say something during the sharing time?”  This question was met with, “I couldn’t do that.”  I rarely press that issue when dealing with a family that’s grieving (teaching moments are great, lack of compassion is another), but for some reason I found myself resonding, “No, you can do it – you couldn’t do it without crying, but there’s not a person that will be ther who will care about that.”  After that, I let it drop.  After her husband did an excellent Job presenting the main eulogy, however, this same woman got up and spoke a wonderful testimony about her mom!  She started with, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but then I talked with Wes and he said I could, and after that things just kept coming to my mind that I wanted to say.”  I don’t know if her bravery inspired the rest of the family, but following this woman it seemed that the rest of her family flooded out their praise and thanks for her mom’s life – and one son boldly shared a tear-filled thanks to his parents for under-taking the painful decision of inviting his grandmother into their home to spend her final months.  I was impressed.

So, even though I sometimes look at the mountains and wonder why they haven’t moved yet – I often find that I’m looking at the wrong mountains when I think it.  What I’m seeing, in small ways, is mountains moving in the lives of people – it’s why I don’t tell Jesus to take his calling back so I can go earn a living as  full-time geek.  I’m grateful, and hope these changed people continue to band together and change the landscape of our community.

2 Comments

  1. Cathi says:

    I wish you would stop questioning your call! You are a wonderful pastor, geeky and strange to be sure, but I think that is exactly what our congregation needs. We all have our quirks, but truthfully, the quirks we see in each other should remind us of the quirks in ourselves. Stop beating yourself up, I am so glad that God brought you to our community!

  2. wezlo says:

    Don’t worry Cathi, this isn’t beating myself up – just some healthy introspection. When I actually think I’m adequate for this calling – get rid of me because I’ll be no good.

    I honestly do feel like I’m way out of my league as a pastor, but I keep going and we’ve managed to do some good stuff for which I’m thankful.

    Thanks for the affirmation though!!!!

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