Last week I invited my readers to submit nonsense questions, with the promise I’d give equally nonsensical answers in the coming weeks. Today is the first installment of “Nonsense Response ¹.”

A nefarious organization, known only as “The Scrabble Tribunal” asks,

Where did the Q go?

An excellent question! The short answer is, as anyone who studies New Testament literature knows, the “Q” has only ever existed hypothetically. It has no actual verified existence, and is only seen through the impact it has on the other documents it has touched.

Few know this but “Q” was the name given to this hypothetical document because the letter is, itself, hypothetical. It is a placeholder for the compound letters which must exist in order to create the “ck,” “koo,” and “kw” sounds. The truth of the “Q Scrabble Hypothesis” is based on common sense — it’s absurd to think one letter would make all those sounds, but as we’ve never actually seen the letters which actually make those sounds, “Q” remains used as a convenient hypothetical stand-in.

So what happened to the “Q?” It never, actually, existed. And all the headaches you feel from trying to play this hypothetical placeholder in a game of Scrabble are all in your head.