I say this just about every year on my blog, but I really dislike “the Christmas season 1.” I know people look forward to decorating, and lights, and parties, and presents, and eating too much — but I find the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas overwhelming.
To be honest I am a bit too “bah-humbuggy,” so I’m trying to do better this year. But it’s hard. I look at my schedule, which is suddenly overflowing with good things, and fear I won’t have amy time to reflect 2. The reality is never as bad as I envision, but I do get some moments of anxiety when I see my calendar and find something going on night after night after night for a couple of weeks. I’m just not that social in my natural state.
I think one of the reasons why I struggle so much is because my December schedule is made for me. Everyone schedules meetings, events, parties, and tasks which automatically populate my calendar without any input from me 3 and when I try to fit something in which I have been wanting to do I find my time has already been gobbled up by others. A big portion of me resents this, as my instinct is to be protective of my time. But I also understand part of being involved in a community requires me to yield up part of my autonomy and submit to plans others have. I may not like it, but if I benefit from the aspects of community life which I do enjoy then I must also be willing to embrace the aspects which I find less appealing. So the insanity of December is not my cup of tea, it never will be, but in the end it may be good for me.
But I’m still going to find time to disappear and tell the world I want to be alone. Part of being in community is also knowing how to retreat.